All I wanted to do was buy a toaster

Puma · Post by **Puma** » Mon Aug 29, 2016 9:58 pm

It was a calm moment when I thought i would sit down and buy a toaster from the internet. This shouldn't take long. A toaster really is just a toaster. You put bread in, it does its thing, no matter the brand, and spits out something crunchy, which is about to become delicious and crunchy. However every set of Amazon reviews would begin with a few hail and hearty recommendations, before someone would comment this ruined my life, this machine made my wife leave me etc... Anyhow I decided to then give up after an hour and buy a slightly more expensive branded toaster for about £25 thinking surely the extra £15 over an Asda basic number would ensure that it wasn't shite. A thing arrived through the post, delivered by a world champion hurler maybe, it was dented the feet had broken off, it was a sorry looking bugger, but not being fussy about feet and a bit of "character" i decided to see if it could perform the basic function of roasting bread. It didn't and it stunk as bad burning hair on a dog turd.

I ordered a recollection, the delivery man arrived.He quietly slipped through a 'No one was at home' note through the door and scampered.

I now have another long slot toaster. It works poorly. But hey at least I am not trying to buy a toaster any more.

thescruff · Post by **thescruff** » Mon Aug 29, 2016 10:27 pm

Was that parcelforce by any chance, round here they make no effort to deliver, I've actually filmed them coming to the door without a parcel, sticking a card through the door and legging it.

kellys_eye · Post by **kellys_eye** » Mon Aug 29, 2016 11:02 pm

You'd think that toaster manufacturers might actually go out and BUY A FCUKING LOAF OF BREAD just to make sure a slice will fit the damned things.

But noooooo. Too much like hard work.

big-all · Post by **big-all** » Mon Aug 29, 2016 11:36 pm

lidls on sunday

http://www.lidl.co.uk/en/our-offers-2491.htm?id=935
http://www.lidl.co.uk/en/our-offers-249 ... l&id=36814

Duck_Tape · Post by **Duck_Tape** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 12:52 am

There was a time (long ago when I was a kid) that toast was done under a grill it was always nice as long as you watched over it,
My toaster is a pricey model Dulet one, had it over 15 years (1 timer change no element change) works a treat
....................Complete lie had it over 15 years (1 timer change no element change) burns one side and leaves the other only half toasted. Still love it though. You get used to what you have and adjust, I just swap the bread round have way through....just like the old days under the grill.

Puma · Post by **Puma** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 10:24 am

The whole thing was infuriating. It was so strange that so many would not accommodate anything but a bit of Hovis. It was also impossible to find (as I found with inkjet printers) something with solid good reviews, which I found amazing. It turns out they all must buy their heating plates from the same crappy manufacturer. Sometimes the element is against its back plate - so obviously it does not heat up as much as the elements which are away from it - so uneven toasting is really common. You literally have to put up with a toaster that's a bit crap - I dunno maybe you can mend them before use.

Same with inkjets; none of them do everything well whilst having a low ink price, you just have to stick with the least bad option. But toasters - we can send a man to the moon but cannot make a decent cheap toaster. Super frustrating.

Dave54 · Post by **Dave54** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 10:56 am

We had this a bit back. One of the annoying things that you mention, is that the expensive toasters are basically made to the same quality as the cheapo ones.
After some hunting and looking at reviews we ended up with a medium price 4 slice one that's supposed to do thick bread. It's OK, but no better than that.

Electric kettles are the same. Price is no guarantee of quality.

thescruff · Post by **thescruff** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 11:51 am

Modern times, buy as cheap as chips then throw it away when it breaks down.

Same thinking anyone pay silly money for breakdown insurance when they buy a new anything. ?

Dave54 · Post by **Dave54** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 11:55 am

I agree with you most of the time scruff, but with that last toaster (almost exactly 2 years ago I looked at the email) we tried 2 or 3 cheapies, and they really were bad.

thescruff · Post by **thescruff** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 12:12 pm

You should see the cooker I bought 6 months ago that is what you call crap and no bad reviews.

The number for the dials are under neigh the dials so you cant see them standing up.

The grill where you stand the pans etc on the top is designed so if not in the center they can fall over.

The oven doors are double glass but not sealed at the top or bottom, so all the grease etc goes between the glasses and you can't clean it

Bob225 · Post by **Bob225** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 1:51 pm

thescruff wrote:You should see the cooker I bought 6 months ago that is what you call crap and no bad reviews.

The number for the dials are under neigh the dials so you cant see them standing up.

The grill where you stand the pans etc on the top is designed so if not in the center they can fall over.

The oven doors are double glass but not sealed at the top or bottom, so all the grease etc goes between the glasses and you can't clean it

9/10 the inner glass slides out or unclips - ours is the same slight bit of grease or fat off the grill goes straight in the hinge gap and then gets onto the oven door glass air gap - pita

Toaster - we have a 4 slice Morphy Richards it was £40 about 10 years ago and is in daily use 4 buttons a leaver each side, none of this bagel function or croissant warmer poncy rubbish - what next the toaster off red dwarf

ayjay · Post by **ayjay** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 3:03 pm

I've had my current toaster for about 6-7 years, it was a cheapo, a Breville, under £20.00 - it's fine.

I can get two slices in the same compartment which gives you a sort of Melba Toast effect and makes for a nice Bacon sarnie, crunchy at the centre and just like really fresh bread outside.

The previous one was quite old when it gave up but it was never very good, apart from anything else it had a painted finish which once discoloured by years of heat use would never clean up, the toast colour seemed to vary a lot too.

My Grandad's old toaster was as good as anything you get now, open the door at the side and lay your bread on, close it up to toast, when you open the door again the bread flips over to have the other side done.

Summat like this one below:-

: old-toaster.jpg (216.4 KiB) Viewed 9485 times

fin · Post by **fin** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 4:29 pm

haha it would do ya nut in if you had a toaster like that one on red dwarf.

looking forward to it coming back next month

wine~o · Post by **wine~o** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:42 pm

thescruff wrote:
The oven doors are double glass but not sealed at the top or bottom, so all the grease etc goes between the glasses and you can't clean it

I think you'll find the inner glass is removable for cleaning.. hence why it's not capped.

My ovens have triple glazing....

thescruff · Post by **thescruff** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 6:24 pm

Not the point wine~o but it has 4 screws to undo if they haven't burnt in. it's a crap design.

All I wanted to do was buy a toaster

All I wanted to do was buy a toaster

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