Numpties

Mooncat · Post by **Mooncat** » Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:24 pm

What used to p1ss me off when I rode a motor bike was the driver pulling out of a side road, with a cold engine and then trundle along at 5 or 10mph so forcing me to avoid him or brake, especially when there was nobody behind me.

Bludall · Post by **Bludall** » Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:24 pm

I know Maida Vale, an awful place to drive round.

ajstone · Post by **ajstone** » Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:29 pm

Bludall wrote:I know Maida Vale, an awful place to drive round.

It was when I was younger

cantbethathard · Post by **cantbethathard** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 8:32 am

I love driving, do hundreds of miles a week personal and have also worked as a driver several times!

Got to the stage now where I've given up shouting, gesticulating and generally getting stressed with numpties as I've decided it's not their fault their "special"

Also, when will people realise that speeding DOES NOT KILL!!!!!!!! Drivers kill!!!!!

doomed · Post by **doomed** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 5:10 pm

feva wrote:
by far in my experince BMW drives are the worst! they were awful to be around on lesson, and still are, i make sure my friends who drive BMW know that they are the worst drivers, they are always on your arse, never thank you for letting them out (to the point where if i see its a BMW i wont flash them out.

Someone gonna have to stick up for these poor bmw drivers

, well I'm not like your quote and if anyone sits on my bum I'll just go slower until they get the idea.
I think I'll go out now and show my superiority and power

Mooncat wrote:What used to p1ss me off when I rode a motor bike was the driver pulling out of a side road, with a cold engine and then trundle along at 5 or 10mph so forcing me to avoid him or brake, especially when there was nobody behind me.

I think everyone showed take some sort of bike test so they'll know what its like

IDontBelieveIt · Post by **IDontBelieveIt** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 5:22 pm

It is all the result of the blind leading the blind along with a driving test that is nothing more than a joke.

The driving instructors are brainless morons.

As for motorway driving in the UK - it is simply embarassing - go the France to see the French do properly, it is called lane discipline (no longer in use in the UK) drive in any lane at any speed you like seems to be the norm. Mind this is due to the stupidity of not letting leaners on motoroways - so how exactly are they meant to learn?

We dont actually have 'congestion' in the UK. We do pay for it mind! All we have is stupid drivers who are not taught properly and a police force that is more concerned about nicking people doing 80 on a motoroway rather than nicking people doing 20 on the outside lane of a motorway.

Welsh Decorator · Post by **Welsh Decorator** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 7:22 pm

IDontBelieveIt wrote:It is all the result of the blind leading the blind along with a driving test that is nothing more than a joke.

As for motorway driving in the UK - it is simply embarassing - , it is called lane discipline (no longer in use in the UK) drive in any lane at any speed you like seems to be the norm.
-and a police force that is more concerned about nicking people doing 80 on a motoroway rather than nicking people doing 20 on the outside lane of a motorway.

Ah yes! the beloved motorway d head!
Came down the M6 tonight from 20 to 16, 5:30pm so in the thick of it, you would not belive the number of cars and vans that I went past in the outside lane, all doing...............63 mph!!!!!

Inside lane? that was doing just above 60, then we have the middle lane, that's going at 70+

Just why do the lemmings think that the outside is the only lane to be in! The old bill should be giveing out tickets like confetti for lane hogging

Stoday · Post by **Stoday** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:19 pm

Here's some driving tips:

1. Never drive when you've had more that eight pints of lager, because you have to stop too often.

2. Always carry a baseball bat in the car with you, for defensive purposes.
There are some right nutters about.

3. The best way to make a quick start from the lights is to give it 6,000rpm and drop the clutch. Maybe it's not the quickest way, but all that tyre smoke shows them you mean business.

4. If you're a really good driver like me you can overtake on the approach to blind bends. You see, I've got reflexes to get out of the way when some berk comes the other way on the wrong side of the road, OK?

5. Fog - that's what sorts the men from the boys. Some people slow down when visibility gets bad. Not me. I don't need to.

6. I'm really quick, so as soon as I get on to the motorway I pull straight out into the fast lane, right? Except, of course, you get a load of jerks there, so I often pass them on the inside and then pull out again and give them a brake test. Sometimes there's too much traffic around, so I use the hard shoulder to get past them.

7. I always switch my rear fog light on as soon as it gets dark, and that's really good when it's raining, because it blinds people so they won't get too close to me. I'm not bothered about fog lights on other cars, as I always wear my shades. I never switch my headlights on until it's really dark - I can see where I'm going, so why can't everyone else, right? But as soon as it gets dark I switch my headlights on full beam all the time. See and be seen, that's what I say.

8. When I'm on a country road and the guy in the car in front of me pulls to the right to see if he can overtake other vehicles ahead, I accelerate up the inside, so he can't pull back in. He who hesitates deserves a smack in the gob.

9. When I'm approaching a T-junction to turn left, I don't slow down; I just chuck the car sideways and join the traffic flow at 70mph. If they hit me up the back, that's their fault, right?

10. If I'm going along the road and someone shapes up to pass me, I pull out a few feet to stop them. Anyone who tries to pass me must be a right nutter, because I'm brilliant and nobody's as quick as me. If they try a second time, I give them a brake test. If they get alongside me, I'll accelerate and prevent them getting ahead.

11. When I'm on the motorway and it narrows from three to two, I always drive right to the cones and then pull in to the left. People hoot sometimes, so I give them The Gesture, and maybe a brake test too.

12. The basic rules of good overtaking are:
Swerve to the right - Indicate - Use the horn - Look in the mirror - Swerve to the left - Give THE Gesture - Brake Test.

13. Because I'm such a brilliant driver, who never makes any errors of judgment, it's quite impossible for me to have an accident unless it's caused by someone else. There are some real berks around, believe me.

thescruff · Post by **thescruff** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:32 pm

Brilliant Stods.

Is that the Frog highway code or "TheBog" version.

IDontBelieveIt · Post by **IDontBelieveIt** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:33 pm

Agreed that was brilliant Stoday! Says it all really. I find a machine gun mounted on the bonnet helps.

Pipertom · Post by **Pipertom** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:04 am

Don't agree with your views u/handyman. Have driven Qualified since 1974.
Ongoing their is a large increase in drivers on UK roads obviously this increase is the emergence of new & young drivers i certainely wont increase my speed to benefit cars behind me any experienced driver will be looking ahead for possible hazards not looking at the tip of the car bonnet to keep inside the lines

Many many times i have had to brake. swerve. swear because of drivers that may-be qualified on paper but are a hazard.

Impatient drivers will allways loss the no claims bonus.

pipertom.

Pipertom · Post by **Pipertom** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:30 am

[quote="cantbethathard"]I love driving, do hundreds of miles a week personal and have also worked as a driver several times!

Got to the stage now where I've given up shouting, gesticulating and generally getting stressed with numpties as I've decided it's not their fault their "special"

Also, when will people realise that speeding DOES NOT KILL!!!!!!!! Drivers kill!!!

thescruff · Post by **thescruff** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 7:12 am

Whatever any of you say, the middle aged, company executive, city slicker, smarmy salesmen type are the worse drivers.

As someone hinted the BMW driver.

doomed · Post by **doomed** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 7:41 am

Stoday wrote:Here's some driving tips:

1. Never drive when you've had more that eight pints of lager, because you have to stop too often.

2. Always carry a baseball bat in the car with you, for defensive purposes.
There are some right nutters about.

3. The best way to make a quick start from the lights is to give it 6,000rpm and drop the clutch. Maybe it's not the quickest way, but all that tyre smoke shows them you mean business.

4. If you're a really good driver like me you can overtake on the approach to blind bends. You see, I've got reflexes to get out of the way when some berk comes the other way on the wrong side of the road, OK?

5. Fog - that's what sorts the men from the boys. Some people slow down when visibility gets bad. Not me. I don't need to.

6. I'm really quick, so as soon as I get on to the motorway I pull straight out into the fast lane, right? Except, of course, you get a load of jerks there, so I often pass them on the inside and then pull out again and give them a brake test. Sometimes there's too much traffic around, so I use the hard shoulder to get past them.

7. I always switch my rear fog light on as soon as it gets dark, and that's really good when it's raining, because it blinds people so they won't get too close to me. I'm not bothered about fog lights on other cars, as I always wear my shades. I never switch my headlights on until it's really dark - I can see where I'm going, so why can't everyone else, right? But as soon as it gets dark I switch my headlights on full beam all the time. See and be seen, that's what I say.

8. When I'm on a country road and the guy in the car in front of me pulls to the right to see if he can overtake other vehicles ahead, I accelerate up the inside, so he can't pull back in. He who hesitates deserves a smack in the gob.

9. When I'm approaching a T-junction to turn left, I don't slow down; I just chuck the car sideways and join the traffic flow at 70mph. If they hit me up the back, that's their fault, right?

10. If I'm going along the road and someone shapes up to pass me, I pull out a few feet to stop them. Anyone who tries to pass me must be a right nutter, because I'm brilliant and nobody's as quick as me. If they try a second time, I give them a brake test. If they get alongside me, I'll accelerate and prevent them getting ahead.

11. When I'm on the motorway and it narrows from three to two, I always drive right to the cones and then pull in to the left. People hoot sometimes, so I give them The Gesture, and maybe a brake test too.

12. The basic rules of good overtaking are:
Swerve to the right - Indicate - Use the horn - Look in the mirror - Swerve to the left - Give THE Gesture - Brake Test.

13. Because I'm such a brilliant driver, who never makes any errors of judgment, it's quite impossible for me to have an accident unless it's caused by someone else. There are some real berks around, believe me.

Some tips to make me better oh good, one problem though I don't have a baseball bat and can't afford one right now any advise

cantbethathard · Post by **cantbethathard** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 8:02 am

Very good Stoday