www.ultimatehandyman.co.uk

I am even keeping the plastic on the front for ever!

Angie, can I ask, are you the sort of person that keeps the sofa wrapped in polythene ?

What's wrong with keeping the plastic on the front? If you don't have a protective phone case it keeps the screen scratch free!!

Of course I have unwrapped the new sofa - wish I hadnt though cos the rabbit keeps p*ssing on it! Although since I washed it down with white vinegar she hasnt had a further accident. Touch wood!!

rabbits on sofa's whatever next!

Well, well, well! The Nokia N73 strikes back! After the fiasco with the Bosch unwanted Valentines gift I got a refund and spent the money in La Senza on some classy pink underwear! Showed UHM and as he was off to work (no surprise there then...) he requested a picture! Anyway as I had no makeup on and unwashed hair, and was too busy folding letters for his mail shot I didnt bother. Only last night Id been out for lunch and had makeup on and washed hair. House was empty so I thought now would be a good time to take a picture. So after serveral changes, and struggling with the tripod I had a nice collection of pictures to send him for his Valentines present! I download on the computer and put a few on the phone. So on my pink Nokia given to me by UHM I sent a picture. No response. I send it again. No response. Check my sent items and its empty. Check my outbox and its in there 3 times. I text "did you get my text" UHM replies "what text?" by now the mood has passed and Im in my PJ's. I decide Im not sending it now cos Im not in the mood! I start trawling through multmedia messages in case there is an option that needs switching on. And low and behold what do I find? A picture of a woman OMG!!! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it an ex? Surely UHM would not be so stupid as to give me a phone with personal pictures already on? So being the kind, perfect, trusting woman I am - I dont bother bringing it up. He comes home from work at 10pm and I go off to bed leaving him on the PC. I dont mention the pictures as I dont want to excite him as Im off to bed to SLEEP! Only whilst he is on the PC he sneaks a look around the history (checking for handbag purchases no doubt) and sees new pictures added. He takes a look. He wonders why I didnt mention the pictures. His mind starts working overtime....they cant be for me she would have said. Its so out of character for Ange maybe she is up to no good. So he stomps upstairs and he asks if I have anything to tell him. I giggle nervously as I think he has discovered my new shoes! Then low and behold he asks about the pictures. Spoilt my surprise! Then he says that someone has taken those pictures cos they look so good! So I had to spend 10 mins explaining how a tripod works and cropping and touching up photos. Then he says its a coincidence that I go for lunch with a bloke (took the boy and spent the time discussing apprentiships for him) come back and take some kinky pictures for the first time ever! Anyway as Im the caring, understanding, compassionate wifey that I am I use the situation to my advantage and tell him its going to take some making up this one! To be accused of "AN AFFAIR" is definatly, definatly going to be worth a new bag!!! WITH matching shoes! So this again is the Nokia N73's costly fault! It can neither send to my phone or receive from my phone picture messages! Its a crap phone get shut for gods sake.
PS. So that then was the perfect time to bring up the subject of the other woman on my phone! he admitted it was an ex bird! He thought he had cleared the phones memory when it was given to me. Call yourself an IT expert? Doh! So I havent deleted it Im keeping it as a blackmail tool cos we are going shoppong to Preston tomorrow to change some shoes and well.....you never know what a girl may see in those shoe shops!

Never make an enemy of Angie!

I had to delete the original reply yesterday because it upset someone

My version-

I was on 2-10 shift.

Angie was going out with her ex-boyfriend in his Subaru for lunch.

I receive text message saying " did you receive my text"

I reply "no, what text?"

Get home from work at 10pm and Angie is in dressing gown, sat on the setee. I say "what text did you try and send?" she says "it doesn't matter now".

Angie sets off to bed and so I check website. I noticed earlier that the camera was out. In the taskbar was the kodak easy share icon as it had been left open. I maximised it and saw a picture of Angies nails, I then scrolled up and found a folder named "naughty", obviously I am going to click on it!

I was shocked as it contained some very lewd pictures of Angie

Obviously I took a good look and then thought, who the f*ck took the pictures

She has been out with her ex for lunch and on the same day lewd pictures appear on the pc

Angie never used to have a tripod and I didn't even know that her dad had given it to her.

she emailed me the pics yesterday for my valentines present. If anyone wants to see them I will accept payment through paypal



sorry about the picture of the ex on my phone, I thought I had deleted them all

Is the 'tripod' the result of seeing the Pic's?




John

EJJ150847 wrote:Is the 'tripod' the result of seeing the Pic's?




John

too right

Wood Magnet wrote:

NOOOOOOOOOO! I can use my imagination thank you very much!

I can't remember that far back.

WM,

Memory loss is a bad thing!

What you talking about Lou.