www.ultimatehandyman.co.uk

It's amazing what you do when you are younger....

I had an old Vauxhall Viva and the brakes were sticking a bit (it actually had disc brakes on the front - not bad for a 1969 motor ).
I was living in London in a hall of residence and the car was just parked on the street, so I just pulled off the pots and washed them in the bathrom sink with some glasspaper to get the pitting off and then pushed them back in place after drying them in an oven for a couple of hours.

Never once occurred to me to bleed the brakes or anything! Amazing I didn't have a complete brake failure and mow down a bus stop full of people It actually was fine

I don't tend to do a lot of car maintenace any more (I wonder why )

Mate drove round with a hand throttle on his Maestro van for a while, cable broke, so he got a piece of string, looped around wiper, onto the throttle and in through the window vrmmm vrmmmmm

One of my old girlfriends was driving home from work after a night shift and phoned me to say that when she breaked she could hear metal rubbing on metal. She drove straight to mine and got in my bed and I went to fix her car, it was chucking it down and could not get it in my garage.

I changed her front pads, oil & filter, air filter and spark plugs in the p*ssing down rain. I was like a drowned rat afterwards

It must have been love

I borrowed the wifes old punto one day and when I was braking there were sparks coming from the front brakes. Got home, asked her if she knew and she said "Oh, it's been like that for ages. Is there a problem?"

New discs and pads needed, surprise, surprise

Hoovie wrote:It must have been love

I borrowed the wifes old punto one day and when I was braking there were sparks coming from the front brakes. Got home, asked her if she knew and she said "Oh, it's been like that for ages. Is there a problem?"

New discs and pads needed, surprise, surprise

That just reminded me of a few days back.

Girlfriend phoned to say she had had a blow out on the way to work

I asked if she was ok and she was fine and was at the garage getting it fixed

When she got home I got the full story- she heard a loud noise and thought that the exhaust was blowing, whilst sat at traffic lights a motor biker pointed at the back of her car and she said " I know I'm going to the garage now to get the exhaust fixed"

When she got to the garage she had been driving on the rim of the wheel and had not had a blow out, but a pucture and had driven on it, thinking it was the exhaust. She then said that I would of also assumed that it was the exhaust, I explained to her that a blowing exhaust does not magically go away when you are stopped at traffic lights

Or make your car handle very awkwardly

Hitch wrote:Or make your car handle very awkwardly

she probably didn't notice as she will of been putting her make up on at the same time

**** I might be in for a slap when she sees this ****

had an old hi-lux pick up, 2 litre petrol, did about 55mph flat out, but but only did about 18mpg. i thought that was a bit crap, so i took the carburettor off, bought an overhaul kit for it. spent a saturday afternoon with it in bits on the kitchen table, put it back on, couldn't get it running again.

so, bought a brand new carburettor, £200, fitted it, got it running. still only gave 18mpg

did you see Top Gear trying to wreck the Hilux ?

Foggy wrote:did you see Top Gear trying to wreck the Hilux ?

that's the reason i bought one

mrs o was not impressed when i brought it home, she thought i was joking when i declared i was buying one after watching top gear

haha classic

Hitch wrote:Or make your car handle very awkwardly

I was driving up the M1 in my Honda HR-V and got a couple of people overtaking me and they were making up and down movements with their hands - I thought they were telling me to put my mobile down - turned out I had a flat tyre

Could not tell fron the drive of the car at all and it was only after another person did it when I was not using the mobile that I thought I better pull over and look over the car

Swapped the wheel over to the spacesaver they supply and the ride was worse then with a flat

I had a big sign on the back window made out of number plate letters on a silver background













IF IT MOVES FUNK IT

i once sheared the top tie bar bolt for my mini engine but had to go somewhere, so I went

it was fine, until you needed to change gear when the engine hit the bulkhead

not me but seen it done
a mate borrowed brake hose clamp so he could replace something (he was a bit vague about what), on the brakes of his car, went to see him while he was doing it & discovered he'd clamped the handbrake cable so he could remove a wheel cylinder
also saw garage owners son working on his own car, a ford crapi, it had underslung cartsprings at the back & he was happily undoing the axle "u" bolts with nothing actually supporting the car, if i hadn't stopped him he would have got to the end of the last bolt & the car would drop

my great steaming nit of the week award came when i was replacing the coil spring on a macpherson strut & i had the spring compressed really really tight & still couldn't get the nut on the top, until that is until my mate came along & extended the damper