www.ultimatehandyman.co.uk

.......... was to get any Premium Bond wins paid directly into my bank account.

Talk about jumping through hoops, kinell, I thought it would never stop.

You can't do it on-line until you've registered with them by post.

They send an application form.

Fill it in and send it back.

Receive account details including a log-in number and a password.

Go to website and use the numbers - all OK so far.

Next page is to change the password to something that you want rather than the one they gave you - fair enough, I'd have done that anyway.

That took about five attempts (it must have one Capital letter, one lower case letter, one number, one special character, more than five digits and less than eight) and I now have a password which I've had to write down cos it's so far removed from what I wanted I can't bloody well remember it.

Finally got logged in to the site only to be greeted by a blank page that wouldn't go anywhere - could have been a "No-Script" issue but didn't appear to be, so I closed it down this morning.

Went back this afternoon and had another go and logged in and the page opened up fine - we're not done yet though.

I've still got to nominate the account that I want to use. I've only got one - it's there on the screen - loooook - you've already got the freaking number, you know it better than I do.

Before I can do that there are five security questions to provide answers for (which I'll probably have to use to log in in future) you know the sort of thing - Grannies maiden name - name of first pet, where was your school.

Got through all that and thought I was finished - OH NO YOU'RE NOT.

Now you have to choose a security picture and create a unique phrase to go with that picture.

All I wanted was any winnings paid straight into my bank account.

I have to ask, have you ever won?

I've won, quite a lot of times - in fact, so much so that it utter blew away ANY bank/savings in terms of interest that I would have got.

I had 13k in them, but only about 2 now

Parents literally get a minimum of 25 quid each draw, every month.

And you are right - their process is a joke.

I laughed at their site, when you can CLICK HERE FOR AN ONLINE FORM. What it REALLY means is that there is a link to an ONLINE COPY of a printable form, that you can download, print and fill in with ink and post.

They are a relic in both tech and procedure.

BG

someone-else wrote:I have to ask, have you ever won?

Yes, quite regularly, but less often since the maximum holding went from £20k to £30k, and less again since the prize fund was reduced a while ago.

If you want to win regularly you need a large holding and in large blocks of bonds - odd bonds obviously have the same theoretical/statistical/mathematical chance of winning but it doesn't seem to happen. My mother bought some when they were first introduced and never won anything up to her death in 2001.

Meanwhile,,, the government glean even more information about you ayjay. Big Brother is certainly watching you.

joinerjohn wrote:Meanwhile,,, the government glean even more information about you ayjay. Big Brother is certainly watching you.

Yes, they now know (if they didn't already) that my parents were married in London, I was born in London, I went to school in London, and my first pet was called Lemmy - I don't know what the Guvmint is going to do with all that new knowledge, but I shan't be losing any sleep over it.

You never know ayjay. I'm sure GCHQ will be pleased to know your first pet was called Lemmy. (undoubtedly, they'll have you down as some sort of subversive now)